3/4s of a Million Smart Singles Sold into Internet Slavery, Part 3: The Matrix

When I clicked on page two of a search this is repeatedly what I got.

Don't they know Matrix code goes up and down, not left to right? And it is GREEN on black!

Sheesh.

People are reporting (those who can...my posts have been deleted repeatedly) lost credits (that's money folks), changed passwords, deleted posts, messages, and Hot Lists.

But worse are the ways all of their personal information is getting lost and showing up elsewhere...probably on someone else's profile. I suddenly became a Capricorn and an old deleted photo depicted me like Harrison Ford on Mosquito Coast. I've only conversed with a few people, but birth years changed, names mispelled or changed outright.

Then it hit me. If that's true, what other viral issues now exist within the massive 3.2 million person Friendfinder Network? (By the way this will get me banned for life, but who cares? It SUCKS and I wouldn't use it again. Besides, I am just a fiction and my dates always pick up the check anyway and accuse me of being two-dimensional.)

So suppose all those on the former Spring Street Network (SSN) have been mis-slotted on the new juggernaut?

What if atheists gets thrown into the "Big Church" Friendfinder lists and suddenly they are being hit on for "missionary dating" (which does not include the missionary position by the way) by those who simply want to "hug in the spirit and kiss in tongues"? I mean, nothing personal to either group, but I don't wanna end up on either BigChurch or Alt.com (Bondage & Detainment/Sado-Masochism).

I do admit sometimes they use similar tactics, but maybe that's why I want none of it.

And what if this incompetence happens between the races on their massive site given their obvious coding issues? It could be like that scene from Ghandi where the Pakistanis are on the one road and the Indians on the lower one passing each other and there is a suddenly breach and they sort of spill into each other and a massacre ensues.

No, this is potentially ugly folks.

What if the upcoming KKKFriendfinder gets co-mingled with NAACPFriendfinder? What if SwiftBoatFriendfinder members get thrown in with MoveOnFriendfinder members? What if I'mOkYou'reOkFriendfinder members are suddenly identified at AAFriendfinder (the reverse would not happen-"What is said on this Friendfinder site stays on this Friendfinder site")?

I shudder.
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Do I have to remind you that some portions of this are satire? I do, because some of our readers are Fundies looking for a fight. They have no sense of humor.

Next... oh the Photos!