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Naming Names
I admit I have a ridiculous name, but I’ll explain that in a bit, because before I can I have to write about the weird phenomenon of “naming”, because human beings are, as far as I can tell, the only animals that name things.
When I was a kid a went to Sunday School a few times. I don’t remember much. I remember the pastor’s daughter was real cute and liked to flirt. It was so innocent and made me feel weird inside, but in a happy way. I’m pretty sure the only reason I came back for a few months was to see her.
The little Bible lesson that day was on the initial innocence of Adam and Eve and something about “naming of the animals”. I guess God would bring the creatures around and the humans would name them and whatever they named them, that was it and even God had to live with the word “platypus”.
As I walked home I thought about two things back and forth…the girl’s innocent and sweet smile, and about all the pets in the neighborhood and their names and how we make up words. I had no idea, at the time, how complicated and dangerous both of those could be in the adult world.
But let’s assume, for the moment, that there was either an Adam and Eve, or at least at some point along the way some evolving human beings began it assign “meaning” to their grunts and mouthings and this primitive “naming” stuck and became normative among them.
Obviously some mistakes were made. I mean “ostrich” sounds like what you look at when you see one, but what about something like “pig”?
How can you use a tiny word “pig” to describe a 600 pound swine. “Swine” is not even big enough. Just say the word a few times. It just doesn’t fit does it?
It’s like a one-word oxymoron, and you’re not supposed to be able to do that. “Pig” sounds more like a very small rodent or a type of bird.
Of course, that’s just in English. But it’s notable that Ambrose Bierce, in The Devil’s Dictionary, defines “slang” (a different type of naming) in a derogatory way as “The grunt of the human hog (Pignoramus intolerabilis) with an audible memory.”
But what’s up with that Ambrose? Certainly “Pigoramus” really fits the animal better than the tiny word “pig”.
Apparently the devil has no sense of humor.
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2 comments:
I think your name has a fascinating ring to it. My real name is as far away from "Sex" as possible. I met someone named Barbie recently, and I told her my name, and she said, "Well don't we just have the cutsy names."
My name is fiction - it doesn't reflect me at all. I think it only reflects my mother. Someday perhaps I'll appreciate that.
For now I'll go with Sex.
well yes..it does have a ring to it...but for a funny version of it check out this...
http://azotuscafe.com/Coffee/1Tarzans.htm
It's a funny article on a not funny subject. I hope you enjoy it. I really like your Blog Sex. I will add it soon.
And so is my name. Maugham is my good and fictitous friend who does all my dirty and fun work for me.
Now that the Good Doctor (HST) has left us, Maugham feels the needs to take some small part of the burden upon himself and have some good fun.
You cannot help the name you are given, but you can choose another.
Keep up the good work and for fun you can checkout the latest Malraux rants at...
the White Chocolate Jesus site:
http://whitechocolatejesus.blogspot.com/
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