Wednesday, March 26, 2008

It's All About Them Chum Part 3


Cool pic huh?
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It is about "women-folk" guys.


You may have slightly advanced physical prowess (never underestimate a small woman with a large heavy object). You men may funnel your testosterone into your professional drive and someday be as mad with power as Martha or Oprah.

It matters not.

If you take the biblical model...you guys were the first prototype and just used for parts on the superior model.

Deal with it. It's in the Bible.

Women have it over you hands down. They are smarter, more verbally adept, and they have a shape that can make you do the unconceivable at the right moment.

They also tend to rise above the major world-wide crap we men produce. They can produce children out of their bodies and you are just a donor. Build a missile, or create a videogame. You cannot compete.

They also have breasts that feed your offspring and also tighten and get hard when you touch her just right. You have one sexual center. She has several.

She’s a swirl and you are a stick.

Your only advantage is that you are taller and can open jars that she can't.

So why was Mac so forlorn?

Typical. He's in love with a woman who is not in love with him. Idiot.

I told him this would happen. He's a shmuck. He never listens, or at the wrong moments.

The Saint is worse off. He has a woman email stalking him.

Because he deems himself literary (I am the only one the three that published regularly in print) he answers and it just gets weird from there. She sends him a sweet note, followed later by one with all manner of accusations and assumptions.

There will be a rabbit in his stewpot soon. I will only laugh.

Me? I just wanna get laid. I am an animal. I just wanna be conquered and get it over with.

Lay alien eggs in my chest, decide my karma, assign me duties, make me a sex-slave. It's all okay because it really is only about women.

Not the environment, not politics, not truth, taxes or values, etc... It's just about them.

Face it. Yer just Chum. Chum.

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7 comments:

tabitha jane said...

this is my husband's philosophy.

"tabitha jane" he says, "the only reason men do anything is so that they can have sex"

"really?" i respond.

"yes. why do i take a shower and shave? so i can keep my horrible job. why do i work this horrible job? so i can make money to pay for school. why do i work so hard to do well at school? so i can graduate and get a good job. why do i want to get a good job? so i can be seen as dependable and stable and therefore be attractive to a woman. why do i want to be attractive to a woman? so i can get laid."

"oh."

kotamaris said...

LOL ---> tabitha jane

Obi-Mac BakDon said...

Tabs- your husband is a genuius (we know this)
Yet there is a missing componant which I have not yet been able to name.

Anonymous said...

sounds to me what Maug wrote about was the 'princess syndrome' which all women have to an extent.

tabitha jane said...

companionship . . . men also need companionship.

Obi-Mac BakDon said...

Tabs- yes they do...and more than they can fathom. But it flows both ways.

Find a man who is in touch with that and a woman in touch with her need to be intimate and physical and you got soemthing. Without it...you got fleets of ships passing each other in the cold silent night.

Anonymous said...

as much as i want this to be true...it's just not that simple...it's not all about us...i mean, we'd like it to be, we'd like to think it is and i'm sure even some men (yourself for instance) believe it is....but truly sex is a two way street and for the best results....both parties should participate with their animalistic intentions and raw passion and sexual drive....but who am i to talk, huh?