It's All About Them Chum Part 1

It's the little secret.

And it is true except for the dramatic reversals like men who are abusive.

Those men should be dropped into John Carpenter's New York with Snake Pliskin, Sly Stallone, Slingblade, Arnold, Condi Rice and Nancy Pelosi (oh...and the guy with the wood chipper from Fargo, or maybe Roy Batty from Bladerunner).

Now that we have disposed of them, there are the rest of us men....about 64 percent.

And here is the secret guys....shhhhh...it's never been about you.

It is always about women, or your woman. Make no mistake. It's as sure as gravity.

They are the deal, you are the occasion.

Word.
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I just want it to sink in. and yes ladies...I am on to you...and I live in a fortress and have hot pitch on the stove for when you attack and I will not go easy into the night cuz I've had enough!

It's All About Them Chum Part 2

Stephanie Gilmore. She rocks.
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Like Mac tells Miss T..."wait for it...wait for it". I think it use to be a double entendre. Let it sink in.

It was never about you and never will be.

God has a delicious sense of humor if God exists.

I don't know if God exists or not. But Mac and The Saint do and they are both wusses.

I saw Mac earlier and he was doing laundry and muttering under his breath.

I sat on the dryer and very purposely did not help.

I just asked questions and the naive sod answered blindly.

The Saint lives in the corner apartment...the one that flooded recently (which is not easy when you are 250 feet up on a hill).

When that happened he made biblical jokes and thought he was being clever.

He isn't.

So it was in this way that the duty came down to me to write about what is true and real, because these losers lose heart so easy.

They call me a "thug" and so I am. I like it.

I like the swagger and the fresh air.

Plus...I will get laid a lot sooner than either of these assholes.
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The secret unfolded...

It's All About Them Chum Part 3

Cool pic huh?
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It is about "women-folk" guys.

You may have slightly advanced physical prowess (never underestimate a small woman with a large heavy object). You men may funnel your testosterone into your professional drive and someday be as mad with power as Martha or Oprah.

It matters not.

If you take the biblical model...you guys were the first prototype and just used for parts on the superior model.

Deal with it. It's in the Bible.

Women have it over you hands down. They are smarter, more verbally adept, and they have a shape that can make you do the unconceivable at the right moment.

They also tend to rise above the major world-wide crap we men produce. They can produce children out of their bodies and you are just a donor. Build a missile, or create a videogame. You cannot compete.

They also have breasts that feed your offspring and also tighten and get hard when you touch her just right. You have one sexual center. She has several.

She’s a swirl and you are a stick.

Your only advantage is that you are taller and can open jars that she can't.

So why was Mac so forlorn?

Typical. He's in love with a woman who is not in love with him. Idiot.

I told him this would happen. He's a shmuck. He never listens, or at the wrong moments.

The Saint is worse off. He has a woman email stalking him.

Because he deems himself literary (I am the only one the three that published regularly in print) he answers and it just gets weird from there. She sends him a sweet note, followed later by one with all manner of accusations and assumptions.

There will be a rabbit in his stewpot soon. I will only laugh.

Me? I just wanna get laid. I am an animal. I just wanna be conquered and get it over with.

Lay alien eggs in my chest, decide my karma, assign me duties, make me a sex-slave. It's all okay because it really is only about women.

Not the environment, not politics, not truth, taxes or values, etc... It's just about them.

Face it. Yer just Chum. Chum.