Editor's note: Lindsey is a STAR at Immoderation Girls. Her alcohol enduced insights into popular culture will one day earn her an honorary doctorate. She is also damned sexy!
Er...anyway, (I am back from my cold shower). She did this masterful piece over at Immoderation Girls on a new version of Seven. And she challenged The Faithful to give their own responses. Here is what I posted there today.
Oh..and you have to read her article FIRST!
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Of course the beautiful and insightful Miss Lindsey has once again created a thing of pure genius while allowing it to have its own revolting ramifications…such as…
Paris has gotta have it, but because she is as smart as a bag of hammers will either be crushed by Shaq as he takes it to the, er…this is the term, Hole (No Boutros) OR by Michael Moore who will also be eating a five course meal as they hump away (ew…No Homo).
Either way,
Federline is next. Due to his sloth we only see him occasionally in the show, always sitting in the same chair. We notice, in episode five (“The Fungi Strikes Back”) that a large mutant fungus has been slowly overtaking him.
Because Federline has been licking the backs of hallucinogenic frogs he thinks it’s
For the rest of the show, we see the fungus simply devour his body until only the fungus is left to sit and watch television.
By episode twelve (“The Kittens Get Spanked”), the fungus has taught itself how to use the remote.
In that episode, Ashley and Shannon get into a vicious cat-fight over one of them using the other’s hairbrush. Caught in a dual stranglehold they smash out of the top story window and are immediately co-impaled on a satellite antenna and the show loses its feed for 5 minutes while Fox employees (it has to be Fox) use a chainsaw to quickly remove them and restore the feed.
The two dead Posers are fed to the fungus.
That leaves the three men.
Next,
Stupid White Fat Ass Pricks 2 and Celsiuspride/32.
Surprisingly, this actually works on Shaq who has never had anyone talk to him like he had a “moral center”. In fact,
So it’s down to the big boys.
Trump isn’t gonna fall for any moral argument. But he cannot fire
The show drags on with no sex appeal at all (the women are long since dead and both of these guys have serious style problems).
The fungus considers offers for a spin-off series, but the
http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/enviro/EnviroRepublish_828525.htm
As such, even though the show is being shot in
The fungus has a beach house in
In a stunning move the fungus devours the 34th floor of the
Never Bet Against Trump
As ratings dwindle week after week we see Trump’s shrewd plan. He starts what he calls the “Trump Culinary Institute” and begins to create masterpieces loaded with fat, heavy sauces and cream.
By episode 37 (“As the Stomach Turns”),
Then Trump, at his most evil, sells the “Trump Culinary Institute” and reinvests in the “Trump Pastry Outlet”.
They haul his body over near the fungus, who is repulsed and leaves the show to do celebrity appearances in Seattle, LA, San Diego, Lake Tahoe (in a lounge) but refuses to take any job East of the Rockies for reasons that stymie others.
Trump has once again, triumphed. But in a cruel twist of fate, he has lost his entire empire in a hostile takeover during the show. Fox News has stifled the ongoing reports to keep Trump in the dark.
All he has left is the Trump Pastry Outlet.
But the good news is, they have to wear hats.
For More MAUGHAM, go to
http://coffeehousediariesbook.blogspot.com/
1 comment:
You can never shower me with enough admiration and affection.
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