A Short Romance

Dylan entered the large room and settled in front of a large movie screen, his back against a pillow and a small split of wine in his bag and some bagette with small pats of butter in a small plastic container. The students filed in and he thought about his opening remarks, but thought it better to simply start the film on time and handle it all on the far end. The lights dimmed and just as the film started to flicker up and spill around the room Regina walked in. He had not seen her since she was, well a girl too young for him to take interest in. But her long black hair and tall thin frame were unique. Large green eyes and smooth cheeks that were Asian, though not really. She saw him and smiled, though it had been at least four years. He had heard she might choose Exeter. She had. She came right over and sat down next to him and said nothing. She just grinned ahead. The movie, a black and white classic, droned on. He leaned over a bit and smelled her neck. She looked at him and he could see her dart in and out as the movie went light then dark. "Can I have some?" she said looking down and up. He gulped, and passed his cup to her and she drank. "And now some bread?" He broked off the bread and fed it to her and the world seem to move away from them. There was no film, no other students, no bread, no wine, just the two of them. He reached up and pushed back her dark hair and smiled. They were in love. They had always been in love and all became quiet like the bottom of a Zen pool and he smelled her again and reached up and drew her into himself and kissed her and she tasted like the sweetest tangerines and smelled of light ginger. He was finally in love and it was a perfect moment that deepened. Then he heard a sound from a distant place that started to grow in intensity. It started low and rumbly and grew more shrill and more loud until it filled the entire hall in an irreversible howl that thundered all around him. The other students fled and Regina left crying. He blinked his eyes. Then again, wide open and saw her, his wife standing over him with a naked child of about 7 months dangling directly over him and the bed and screaching full force. "I want YOU to take care of YOUR child!" she screamed at him, face flushed with fury. "NOW Dylan!" she said. Suddenly the boy quieted down, cooed and started to pee.

Fish & Chips Part 1

Jesus chip.
___________________________

He rolled over and looked at the digital read-out. 6:58.

It was getting dimmer outside and he felt hungry, dehydrated and a bit lost.

He groaned and slumped over the side. He felt alone. He was alone and had been so for six weeks. Since that time he had done his best Bill Murray imitation and lived in a sardonic mist of alcohol, old DVDs and the worst food he could find.

The night before it was a 5 pound bag of onion rings dipped in various decaying sauces from the fridge which was last cleaned during the Eisenhower administration. He didn't bother to bake them. He just nuked them until they were like a pile of brown seaweed. He had just slogged them in while watching The Kings of Comedy for the 40th time.

But that was yesterday and today had new challenges food wise. He knew he was getting fat and he thought it amusing. He had never been fat before. All his growing up he was the skinny kid. Had he been the fat kid, given how tall he became, he would have been a great offensive lineman...a walking wall.

But he was always skinny. Till now. He thought it very funny.

"I need chips," he said to the cat. The cat ignored him, then got up and hacked up a furball.

"I'm leaving," he said to the cat.

The cat paid him no mind once it was clear he would not step on her.

______________________________

The walk...

Fish & Chips Part 2

Walking.
____________________

He swung out the door and heard the cat scamper out behind him.

Couldn't hack-off five minutes later outside right?

The sky was clouding up a bit and some nice new air was moving in as he walked downtown. He passed a smoky bar where there was much laughter and the Giants game. Another beauty shop was closing up and the woman inside was very hot.

Shit.

"She'd never go for me" he thought aloud, looking down. But he didn't care that much. HeI stopped at the Asian market and bought a pack of cigarettes.

He did not smoke.

On the way out he grabbed some matches.

He broke open the pack and smelled the fresh tobbaco. He loved that smell..like the newness of a woman and her pheremones all around him. Then the first hit off the lighted match. Perfect.

Then everything turns to shit. Darkness in your lungs, cancer cells activated, bad breath and, well, poison, pure and simple.

It seemed a fitting metaphor, though he could clearly identify the times he had been the cancer cell, the substance, and the match.

he kept walking and kept smoking.

____________________

Dead Man Walking...

Fish & Chips Part 3

Walking 2.
_____________________________________

He threw down and stubbed it out. He liked the black bitter taste in the back of his mouth.

The air was cooling down further which pleased him. He urged towards the Safeway ahead, smelling the fresh cooking from a Chinese restaurant nearby.

But he just wanted chips...chips and onion dip.

When he was a child he was often alone on weekends. No idea where his parents were, but they were not there. So he ate what he ate, all 6 feet and 110 pounds of what he was. So he ate fun stuff. He really liked to eat chips...big Scudder ribbed ones with onion dip all afternoon long and watch movies.

Now he was suddenly 42 and had been alone for a lot of weekends and I guess he just wanted those same chips and dip.

He entered the Safeway and was greeted by a short Chinese man. "Hellow!" he hailed. "Can I gelp you find anything?"

"Er, no." he said. Whatever they pay these folks it is not enough, he thought silently.

He grabbed a bag of chips off the end aisle, then another as they were two for one.

In the cooled aisle he found onion dip on sale.

He thought about some special catfood for the kitty...then thought about the line.

Fuck the cat.

As usual he cruised the vegetable section as if he might someday buy something.

Then he saw her.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck...
_______________

Next...

Fish & Chips Part 4

He falls.
______________________________

He dropped the bag of two for one lettuce salad mix he had been examining.

Dark skinned, small, too small really, with short black bangs, she just looked up at him and smiled with dark brown eyes and he dropped the lettuce.

He felt a shiver reverb through his body like a small earthquake.

He smiled back, then turned away and blushed.

Fuck.

Outside he clutched his bag of chips, dip, a pack of hot dogs, and three bottles of brown ale.

She was walking and he walked behind her, a block back feeling ugly and wrong for doing so.

The argument went on in his head ...on and on...but it was never resolved. He felt clean and dirty at the very same time.

So he followed.

She turned down the darkness that is 2nd avenue and he could see the lighted bar signs reflect off the top of her hair.

Lust.

This was what this was. Not love...it was lust.

He was a natural lover, but this was lust and he wanted her.

Thoughts of kissing her and entering her and making her moan and cry out. That was what he wanted. It cried out from the center of a soul that was utterly empty.

Yes, he was empty. He was a shell clutching a bag of chips, some dip and three beers.

And he was following a woman of substance. He knew it. He felt like a vampire. He felt ridiculous. He felt like a fool. He kept following. He could not stop.
_________________________________

God spelled backwards is Dog...

Fish & Chips Part 5

He was thinking about Bill Murray and Stripes as he went around the back.

He had seen her go up the stairs and, it just came into his head "Razzle-dazzle...black guys help the white guys" Then all hell broke loose.

He slammed the gate and heard the deep growl from behind.

There was a gate between him and freedom. He had entered it and the dog...some black snarkling beast who was about to lunge at his throat was not close enough..if he moved NOW.

He bolted and he, or she, or it...it's hard to be PC when your flesh is on fire..was biting hard into his left ankle and tearing at it.

"Oh God help me!" he prayed in his agnostic head.

He tore way and opened the gate and gave a mighty swing and fuck! The goddamn dog went flying out like a frisbee..end over end.

Slam!

He hunkered down and grabbed the bag and slogged the package of hot dogs over the fence and all was quiet.

Shit.

His relationship with the dog was not over. The dog was outside and he was out of hot dogs.
___________________________

Oh who knows...

Fish & Chips Part 6

Yikes!
________________________

He slumped back and breathed hard for awhile. The adrenalin was pumping and he felt sore and lost.

He saw the catwalk above.

The dog howled outside the fence. God was silent.

He thought about her hair and her smile. So sweet, so lovely. He mustered up and climbed up the first walk. He past a dubious window where he thought he saw crack pipes and some grinding about that might have interested him on another night.

But not now.

Level two was a woman, an old woman motionless in front of a televangelist on an old tube. With his smoky white hair he was railing and she seemed quite content.

Level three brought him up short.

A man looked out the very window he was looking in.

The stared at each other for a moment. His face was dark olive and mexican. He grinned finally.

"You look scared" he said.

"I am"

"Wanna beer?"

"Yeah" he answered.

____________________

Beers....

Fish & Chips Part 7

"you gotta name?" the Mexican asked.

"Dicky" he said.

"Nice," as he popped a Moosehead beer and handed it over to him.

"You?"

"Felix," he said calmly.

"Thanks...er, thanks for not shooting me."

"It happens all the time," he said.

"Really," he asked "because of above?"

"Yeah," he said shaking his head, "It's always about above."

Hey!!" Felix sparked up, "How did you get past the dog!?"

"Lucky...and hot dogs".

"Hehe.." he laughed. "Good. Now I don't have to feed him manana. Hehe."

"You do not wanna go up there," Felix said flatly.

Dicky sighed hard.

"I have to," he said finally.

"I know," Felix said. "hey you go to the gym in Marin?"

"Used to."

"Hey, meet me there on Monday at 7 okay?"

"Okay," he said uncommiting.

He knew. They both knew.

But Felix liked him and gave him a smile as he climbed up further into the night.

He just shook his head as he walked away. One less beer, but maybe a new friend.

______________________

Fish & Chips Part 8

She was waiting. Like she knew all along. Short, compact in her chair with a glass of wine in her hand.

The dark blue light was behind her in the window and a small lamp lighted up her body as she sipped calmly.

"You shouldn't be here" she said.

"I know," he said ducking under and through the window frame.

"I saw you in the store," she said.

"Yes," he said. "Me too."

"What do you want?" she asked.

"I wanted chips and dip," he said. "Now I am not sure."

"You are older than I thought and not healthy," she said.

"You speak the truth and you are younger than I thought," he said.

"Do you want me?" she asked.

"I thought I did," he said, "but now I am not sure."

She sighed and looked away. He noted the line of her jaw and it excited him.

Then her eyes. Always the eyes.

His life was, and had been, ruled by the eyes.

So he made his way back out the window in a rush. Too much a rush...and that cost him everything...
_____________________
More in the morning....8 parts in one dau is quite enough...thanks Mitz!

Fish & Chips Part 9

It wasn't as bad as this.
_______________________________________

As he went out the window his shirt caught on an iron part of the fencing and it tore hard as he tumbled off and fell. He hit the next landing hard which knocked most of the wind out of him.

He groaned repeatedly and did an inventory in his head to see if anything was broken. It wasn't.

Felix peaked his head out the window and said "Man, I told you Dude. You okay?"

"Ughhh, er...oh fuck...yeah yeah...I do this all the time...ughuffff."

Dicky could feel that blood was oozing from a gash near his left rib cage.

"Ugh...Felix?"

"Yeah Dicky?"

"I just need a few moments alone," he said. "I'll be okay. I'll see you at the Gym on Monday."

"Really?" grinning.

"Yeah..." groaning. "What time?"

"Around seven."

"Okay...seven," he said quietly. "Now I really just need a moment."

"Okay Bro," said Felix. Then he closed the window and put down the shade.

He laid there for a few minutes until he heard soft bare footsteps from above. He felt certain she was going to hit him in the head with something very large and heavy.

Instead she sat lightly on top of him and in the moonlight peeled back his shirt.

It was still bleeding some. Then he felt her warm tongue on the wound.

Later he would think about that moment over and over again and never quite be able to wrap his mind around it. What was she thinking?

Of course at the moment he was immobilized, bleeding from his side and ankle, a dog was waiting for him just outside the gate and there was a bag of chips, onion dip and brown ale down on the ground.

She opened up his shirt all the way with her hair hitting his chest. She went further down and undid his jeans. He moaned.

"Touch me," she ordered. he moved his hands around her waist, then under her small skirt. Nothing. He was surprised. She licked at his wound again, tasting his salty sweat and blood. She moved on him a few times gently as he pulled her, then he did as he was told and cupped his hand underneath, searching and then finding.

She shuddered and moved more forcefully as he touched her gently.

Felix peered momentarily out of the blinds.

"Stupid cracker," he said shaking his head, then walked away and turned on the television.

Her hand reached down to pull clothing back further and to touch the two most sensitive places again and again. Dangerously close, dangerously warm and very wet.

Then she simple sank down onto him in a moment with a small cry.

He was shocked. The dog laid down by the gate and went to sleep as she worked him quietly, kissing his wound and gently biting his ear as he came inside of her. Then she sighed as she lay down on top of him and they fell asleep.
____________________
The story continues...

Fish & Chips Part 10

He woke up maybe 90 minutes later with her on top of him. The first thing he felt was a pain in his ankle and then his side.

He brushed her hair back and whispered in her ear. "Hey, let's go up."

She moaned and sturred for a moment, then rolled off and stood. She took his hand and they walked up.

He walked into the bathroom and examined his ankle. It wasn't at all good.

There were no bandaids of any kind so he simply washed out his wounds and put his sock back on.

He walked out and she was smoking a cigarette.

He came at sat down at the little red table.

"What is your name?"

"Zara," she said looking off.

The sat silently for awhile until she finished. He thought it curious that she did not ask his name. He shrugged it off.

She stubbed out her cigarette and looked at him directly. "Do you want me again?"

"Yes," he said quietly. " But I don't think it's wise to not have protection."

"Oh you are safe," she said. Then she stood up and unbuttoned her shirt. He gulped. He had not noticed her shape before, just those eyes. "Kiss me like you love me," she said and he did. The rest was a blurring of lines, smashing into bedstands, little bites to nipples, mouthing, tonguing, the dull ache of his side and him finding her. She seemed so small but she gathered him in and arched her back again and again witha hunger which wanted to devour him and his seed.

But this time she was loud. She grabbed his ass and pulled hard and screamed out loud, so much so Felix was awakened in his chair, the TV still blaring on about some new Ronco product.

"Stupid cracker," he said as he walked to the door, left it open and slunked down the stairs to the street to get the dog. "C'mere Rufus," he said and gave him a few good pats. He opened the gate and let Rufus back in then saw the bag.

As he reached it and looked in he heard the deep final groan of a man spent.

"Hell to pay," he said under his breath. "Hell to pay," as he walked back and locked the dog in the yard. and headed up to sleep.
_______________________
I have no idea where this is going...

Fish & Chips Part 11

Dicky woke up groggy and hollow.

He got up and used the bathroom and looked out the window. Then he showered with the water as hot as he could stand.

He toweled off carefully and re-inspected his wounds. They had closed up nicely. He felt weak and nervous. He no longer wanted to smoke. He threw down the pack and left them for the girl.

When he came out into the small kitchen she was waiting in a robe and coffee was on.

"Will you come back," she asked looking away, "or will you go?" she asked turning to him.

"Well I'd like to get to know me," he said.

"I'd say you've already done that," she said flatly.

"I mean who you are, what you like, what you think...simple stuff."

She smiled. "I felt it?"

"Felt what?" he asked.

"The baby," she said.

He wasn't sure he had heard correctly, or maybe he just was in shock.

"You have a baby?"

"NO," she laughed, "We have a baby."

He sat down and laughed it off. What the hell was she talking. She must be crazy he thought.

"Last night, around 4 a.m. when you were driving me real hard," she said directly. "Do you remember that?"

"How could I forget?"

"Well that is when I knew," she said without emotion. "I see and feel things that others miss."

"So you believe you are pregnant from last night?"

"I know I am," she said. "Hopefully she will have my eyes and your height."

He turned to her and looked hard into those eyes. They were beautiful and deep and wide. It was always in the eyes. Damn.

"I wanted it to be you," she said not unkindly.

"Why me?" he asked incredulous.

"You blushed in the store," she said. "And you made eye contact in an unusual way. I told you I see things. I saw you at my window when I was in the store. At first I was disappointed," she said flatly and looking off.

"But there is more in you than you realize," she said. "And now there is more of you in me than you realize." With this last statment she giggled a bit.

Even he had to smirk at the remark. Then he returned to his fear, which was mounting.
________________________
oh...just keep reading....

Fish & Chips Part 12

He walked out a bit guarded. No dog. He thought about his chips but heard the dog behind the fence growl.

"Thanks Felix," he said under his breath.

She had hugged him at the door in a weird way. There, but not there. Then she said "You need to eat more fish."

He thought she was crazy with talk of fish and babies and the way she had sucked almost all the life out of him in one evening.

He hobbled toward home feeling skanky and thin.

When he got home the cat bolted out the door and he headed for his room and crashed like a 747 on fire.

The phone rang at 2 p.m. It rang again at 4 and 6:15.

His dreams were sporadic. He saw a woman with golden hair in one. She was naked and beautiful but as he mounted her she laughed at him. He laughed back. Then turned over into a dark-haired woman who wanted his hands and only that.

She gasped often and moaned loudly...then he was in the sea and he was swimming underwater but could breath. His only child was swimming and laughing alongside him. They were catching wild crayfish but they so often slipped away. They laughed. Her eyes lighted up.

He woke up and realized that he did not have a child. He felt sick.

He walked into the bathroom, wretched and sat down on the floor.
___________________________

Fish & Chips Part 13

He slumped against the wall and started to cry. Then he climbed into the tub and turned on the steam and he actually prayed.

But he didn't feel any better after. He dried off and bandaged his ankle proper and the gash to his rib.

And he thought about the girl.

It was less than 24 hours since he had seen her. Actually it was about the same time.

He heard a small knock at the door.

When he opened it there was a small vase with flowers in it. She was sitting quietly at the stairs.

There was a small card. It said "believe in love. Z."

He was once again stunned. It seemed to him that she was always one step ahead of him.

He stepped down the stairs.

"How did you know where I live?"

"I looked in your wallet when you showered Richard," she said straight.

"No one calls me Richard," he said kindly. "I go by, well, Dicky."

"Dicky?!" she laughed.

"Yeah...I got this think for the old Allman Brothers," he said.

"Oh yeah," she said exhaling smoke. "Dickey Betts."

He sat down next to her.

"Can I have a smoke?"

She offered one in silence.

He smelled the fresh tobacco and took in the first draw then stubbed it out. Then he smelled her neck.

"How's the baby?" he asked openly.

"She is well."

"Do you dream often?" he asked.

"No. never." she answered. "I just see what I see in daylight. I do not always like it, but I liked seeing you yesterday."

"What did you like?" he asked selfishly. "I mean, you are a walking enigma."

"I'll tell you," she said drawing a deep smoke. Then she let it out and turned and looked him in the eyes. "But you first. You have more to say."

He laughed aloud. "How can you be so sure!?"

"I see what I see."

"Are you always right?"

"No. But more often than not."

"Okay, it seems you will always win," he said and she smiled off.

"You are so small I did not take notice at once. I think we passed on an aisle and you took me in. yes, I know it."

"I did do that."

"I was just trying to get chips and dip and I have this weird thing about veggies."

"You dropped the bags"

"I thought it was one."

"It was two. I loved you for that."

"You loved me for dropped dead lettuce and decided you wanted a baby with me?"

"No you decided, I only saw it ahead of you."
________________________
be careful what you look at...

Fish & Chips Part 14

He looked down and only saw the pattern in the ground. Just squares and dirt. She lay her head against his shoulder and he felt her dark cool hair.

"What do you mean about my deciding?" he finally asked after a time.

"You saw me and decided to follow me home," she said. "I could feel you behind. I could almost see through your eyes as you watched me. That is why I was not afraid."

"Not even when I came in your window?" as he asked this he remembered her look and knew it was a stupid question. He had been the one who fled and had fallen.

"Okay, your turn," he said softly.

"Why did you come down?"

"I saw her and wanted her to live and you were a part of her," she said simply.

"Are you crazy?" he asked.

"No. I once was...but no more. What shall we name her?"

"You're the visonary" he said sarcastically. Then he felt bad.

"I'm tired," he said. "Come."

He led her upstairs. It was hot in the apartment. He opened the window and got her some ice tea. She looked up sorrowful and yet whole.

He started to cry, and slumped onto the bed and fell asleep alongside her small frame.
______________________

Fish & Chips Part 15

He woke up much as he had the night before, She was there close and unexpected.

He rolled her off and turned on the small light.

She was a simple beauty. He looked at her belly and wondered. Her shirt was slightly hitched up and he could see the steel ring in her tanned button.

Above he saw her breasts that excited him as she slept. But he was troubled.

"Fish and chips" he muttered.

"Oh fuck!!" he thought. It was at least near seven and there he was in bed.

She roused and slumped back. "Where are you going?" she asked straight.

He sat down. He liked her weird straightness in information. It was a strange comfort to him.

"Felix asked me to meet him at the gym today," he said. "I'll be back soon." Then he kissed her on the mouth to let her know his intention and gathered up his bags and left.

She sat back and had new visions.
______________________

Felix and Dicky...

Fish & Chips Part 16

He flashed his ID at the young girl behind the counter and looked for Felix

He wasn't there, so he dressed down and did some basic warmups then hit the treadmill.

He slapped on headphones and a soundtrack that energized him. But he felt tired. He did more walking than running.

Felix came up after 20 minutes.

"Sorry bro," he said.

"No problem," he said. "Just glad you are here."

Felix ginned, which made Dicky feel strangely good.

They ran alongside for awhile then quit and headed for the weight room.

"How's your back?" Felix finally asked.

"oh...hell...fine," he said. "Yeah...no it was...sheesh...look at this and this"

He showed him the gash down his ribs and then the deep marks on his ankle.

"That dog got diseases?"

"Naw...no way man" said Felix. "Besides, you deserved it Bro."

Dicky laughed. "Yeah, I did." he said. "You drink my beers?"

"Naw, I got them on ice," he said. "But I ate your chips and dip."

They finished a series of weights and hit the hot tub.

Dicky laid back and let the water foam around him.

"So what do you think?"

"You're a madman, man" Felix said.

"Yeah," he said. "Tell me what you've seen."

"Uh...men...you know...they come and go...but never stay."

"She ever talk to you?"

"She told me once my dog was sick, and he was" Felix said. "I think she is deep trouble man. Bad news...dark and wrong."
________________________
After the hot tubbing...

Fish & Chips Part 17

They showered and changed and shook hands and he said to Felix, "why don't you follow me home. We'll have a beer."

"Your beer is at my place," said Felix grinning.

"Okay, let's go."

The air was soft that night even though it was near 9 p.m. He felt good.

They drove back by Felix's place and Felix made a great show of introducing Rufus to Dicky. They made their peace and later Dicky brought down Rufus' dinner for him and patted his head and ruffled his ears. They shared a brown ale and some left over chips and onion dip.

He looked up and saw the light was on.

A small part of him wanted to bolt. He still could. But he kept looking up. he thought about her. It was crazy, but it resonated within him.

He climbed up the stairs and as he hit Felix's door he saw her sitting on the stairs about half the way down.

"I was on my way up," he said evenly.

"Yes, I know," she said almost laughing.

"Give me a minute?"

"Your life," she said, stubbing out her cigarette.

"Really?" he said eyeing her carefully.

"Really."

Testosterone

Mac was busy working and I was bored.

"Let's go for a drink ass," I said sweetly.

"Give me 30 minutes," he called out.

Fuck.

When he came out of his oro-fice, he looked like hell. Bushy Bill Clinton hair, unshaven, dark rings under his eyes.

"You look Fab!" I said. Let's go!

We pulled into the parking lot where they have a nice sushi bar. But we had to wait because this little blonde 25-year-old housewife was parked in the middle of the road in a Navigator the size of the Santa Maria.

I was irate.

We finally parked, but as we crossed the clearly marked intersection a small truck made a sudden move and revved up his engine like he was gonna run us over. I stopped but Mac kept walking unhindered. He actually glared.

Now I have to say that Mac was not in a good mood already. He had just taken the trash out 10 minutes before and an inkjet needle had pierced the bag as he squashed it down.

"GahFugh!!" he cried out.

"What?" I asked. I looked at his hand and black or blue ink was pouring out all over along with a lot of rich red blood.

"If you had yellow you could print stuff right here in the parking lot," I offered with my usual empathy.

"You are buying," he snarled back.

So when the guy revved his engine Mac looked back into the cabin of his truck like "what the fuck are you thinking?"

And he held eye contact until he realized (we talked about it later) he realized the guy was just high on testosterone.

I mean what else would make a man, probably 5' 8", out of shape and pudgy think he could do anything to a guy who could start on the offensive line of a semi-pro team (except that he'd have to run...not so good)?

Personally, I have seen this before. I think people pick up on his non-violent nature and do not see how stupid it might be to attack a guy 6'6" and 280 lbs. (gotta get that Ass into the gym).

Anyway, Mac just glared and held eye-contact.

I didn't.

Once the truck was stopped and he was saying something after Mac, I walked up to his door and crouched down and looked the fucker in the eyes not four inches from his face.

"My friend is a reasonable man and I suggest you not mess with him today," I said sweetly.

"Oh really?" he said. "Well fuck you and your friend!" he said then looked over at his young comrade.

"Look you have had just a bit too much testosterone in your diet," I said. "Not getting any at home? I suggest more masterbation."

"He popped the door, which was a real mistake because the inbetween of a door and a truck is like a rock and a hard place.

So, yeah, I squished him, "Gaagul..." he gasped.

Then Mac came after me.

"Forget it Maug...he's just...oh hell..I dunno," he sighed.

The man groaned and I gave him a quick slap on the left cheek...not too hard.

"Don't be stupid. It's a beautiful day and you have made it ugly," I said. "And do NOT threaten people with your truck again idiot."

We left it at that and as we walked toward the sushi bar Mac shook his head and said "men are idiots. But why did you have to slap him?"

"I dunno. Just seemed the thing to do. You gonna get the Icura Madness?"

"Naw. Not today."

Human Interest, Part 1

It seems God and humanity are interested in what interests humanity.

Certainly you are. Sit down with a pad of paper and make a short list of the ten things that interest you most.

If you get stuck...just look at what you do. As an old friend said "people really do what they really wanna do". Look at what you do and you will see what you are interested in. Works every time and it cuts through the BS of what we "should" be interested in. Look at what you do and it will tell most of the story.

Some people's interests are very simple: beer, sex, wrestling on TV, porn, their vehicle, house, dog, a close friend, a gun collection and reality TV.

Others are equally simple: Box seat at the Met, a split of bordeaux, a BMW 300DL, an Armani suit with ten others in the lighted closet, ten pairs of shoes, an Andy Warhol original, marble counter tops, Kiehl's products in the bathroom, three attractive women waiting online at 11 p.m. and a plasma screen TV playing The Matrix over and over.

Other boil their ten down to like three, with one leading. We call this a "fetish" rightly or wrongly.

But it is all about interest. Interesting isn't it?
_________________________________
As always...part two coming soon...I can't help it now that I am interested.

Human Interest, Part 2

I sat next to Mac at the Coffeehouse and he looked down.

"What's wrong brother ass?" I asked.

"She's dis-interested," he said.

"How can that be?" I asked. "You're a fascinating guy...god who can keep up with you?"

"Not the issue," he said sadly. "They do not pay you to be creative, intelligent, thoughtful and visionary unless major commodities result or you have an agent out selling you."

"You're broke," I said flatly.

"No, I got 8 rolls of pennies under my cutting board and $100 in SF".

"Not bad for 48 years of age," I said without cruelty. He laughed.

"Yeah, but that $100 will collect interest," he said with a Han Solo smirk.

Passion and interest is an interesting thing. One thing immediately shows up with Maslow and his hierarchy of needs. I guess Mac needs money. Gotta have money to collect interest...interest of all kinds.

"She is dis-interested" he said flatly.

"Interested in someone else?" I asked slyly (frankly I'd like to bed her).

"You are a dog Maugham," he said shaking his head.

"Sorry" I feigned, "so what next?"

"The inevitable," he said. "Slowly moving apart..hopefully peacfully and without recrimination. That is all you can hope for."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Why do you always assume it was me?"

"Well track-record. It's like the horses."

"Sigh," he moaned," okay I suppose ...yeah. I mean Maugham. you have known me since 1988...ever met a woman that can hang with me?"

"I don;t know. I've never found it that interesting a subject to be honest."

"Well, there ya go."
________________
Part 3 manana sports fans...

Human Interest, Part 3

Okay, okay...I never spoke at this church. I called but they weren't interested in the interesting topics I had in mind. Later I called the Unitarians...not interested either. Finally, a convalescent home where I was greeted with much fanfare and a large bowl of rice pudding.

In the meantime I did go by there, meet the janitor, and when he wasn't looking I "borrowed" the lettering. I plan on doing this on a regular basis because I told him my name was Bob.

In the meantime, I didn't know how to help Mac, which he never noticed because, well I never help him. My sole interest is in picking at his wounds in a sardonic and humorous way when he least expects it. In an odd way this actually does help him, but only on the sly.

He's obviously in misery. He's such an attention whore (the whole ADHD thing) that I find it interesting to ignore him from time to time in conversation. He'll build up a big head of steam and be going full throttle and I'll gaze out the window and pretend to fixate on some other object or idea that is truly interesting as he prattles on (he was, after all, the Men's Freestyle Prattling champion in the Summer games in Barcelona).

That or I interrupt him with some wild tangent, then watch him fume.

Which is not often. As impulsive as he is, Mac has a lot of patience.

I do not and I find this line of thinking very uninteresting.

So what is interest?

Well, the word literally means "to be inbetween" but we do not usually use it so forcefully. Admittedly, when a man in deeply interested in a woman the above definition does fit.

But what of compound interest, self-interest, vested interest, shared interest, and interest groups?

And what of related categories like curiousity, attraction, entertainment, hobbies and love interests?

For example, I am listening to Sheryl Crow, whose music and lyrics interest me. I am blogging away and wondering what readers will find interesting and not. I am interested in how today will go...what I will cook, and drink and if I will make love to a woman. I am interested in my emails and whether the weather will remain cool here. I'm interested in where this whole piece is going because I really, as usual, have no idea.

That's the part that keeps me interested.
________________________________

Part four on the way...

Human Interest, Part 4

Lance is interested in Sheryl, who is interested in Lance. Lots of folks were interested in Lance's bid to win his 7th straight Tour, and others are interested in Sheryl's next tour. They are an interest magnet.

The interest is obvious because I can use their first names alone amidst 6.5 billion people on Earth and you know who they are.

But only now. Later...two years from now, that interest may wane. Their own interest in each other may dissipate. Human beings are hard to keep engaged. They gain and lose interest easily and then gain new interests unless they simply give up and become irrevocably bored.

It seems often that we are on one side of interest or the other, whether it is monitary interest or personal interest.

And we spend so much time trying to gain the interest of others when, really, so much of everything is about self-interest.

"What's in it for me?" seems the dominant question.

Kissing Your Brother

Mac's guest spot continues. Look for my interview with him in a few days on his site where I kick his wuss-ass. -Maugham
_______________________

Okay, I promised, then forgot to tell about kissing painter Rod Swenson.

There is really not much to tell except in the way of qualifiers.

I have never been homophobic. My best friend in High School was gay, I'm not. I never thought much about it. I just enjoyed his company. He was beautiful, and frankly, so was I.

He never hit on me and I never questioned him in any way. I was a strange irony too because he was a "Christian" and I really enjoyed being an utter heathen. Later he would chuck his own faith and I had a radical conversion experience.

As Vonnegut would say "so it goes".

Still I've never changed in that regard. I have always had friends who were gay, both men and women. I use to work for Life Lobby, which lobby's heavily for both human rights and also for more AIDS research. The head of Life Lobby (a wonderful woman) use to question me quite thoroughly about my Christianity.

I understood. I really loved her and her partner. Still do.

Anyway, I can hear someone saying (fucking neo-freudians) why all the qualifiers?

Are you an idiot?

(Damn, I come on Maug's site and I start to act like him all belligerant and stuff).

Just because I see people...live people. I happen to find women devastating. That's it.

________________

So one day, my good friend and painting mentor Rod Swenson shows up at my door for a party.

There is something immediately comic about both of us. Something over-done...unmistakenly ironic. We both look out of place and are in so many ways.

yet somehow compelling. I doubt anyone who has ever met Rod will ever forget him. Probably same for me.

So, he shows up at my door, and it was a grand place...the same place in the picture.

_____________________

Next...the place...

Kissing Your Brother Part 2

Part Two...
________________

Okay , this guy I'm not about to kiss though he calls me "FagDonald" and has for twenty-five years or so.

I bring up Rodan (Mike Roe) because you need to understand the lunatic fringe that swept through the San Francisco style house up on the hill in Landpark (Sacramento) in the 90's.

It wasn't just Rod Swenson, or Rodan (of the 77's)...it was a whole cacophony of incredibly talented wierdos. Hogboy, John Spritz, actor Victor Wong, visionaries like Jim Seyman and Thomas Whitney.

Then the usual drop-ins (you know who you were).

One night Rodan and I sat up on the deck after the U2 Zooropa concert at Arco. He smoked and I drank and we lamented the end of a great rock band.

Boy were we wrong. Shit.

_____________________

So the party started and we had invited poets, theologians, artists, musicians and other folk to come and share food, alcohol and their offerings. It was a cool summer night, which is not usual in Excramento.

Other arrived and then the bell rang again leading oput to our exquisite courtyard.

There stood Rod, with that utterly ridiculous half grin on his face. His eyes slightly sad, but strangely hopeful. It made me laugh. We just had a connection. So we both simultaneously kissed each other on the lips.

No tongues, no stuff. It was kinda like what St. Paul says about "greeting one another with a holy kiss". It was defintely holy. And it surprised us both and we laughed at the door...for a few minutes...but also let it be what it was.

I love this guy. Simple.

Holy.