Testosterone

Mac was busy working and I was bored.

"Let's go for a drink ass," I said sweetly.

"Give me 30 minutes," he called out.

Fuck.

When he came out of his oro-fice, he looked like hell. Bushy Bill Clinton hair, unshaven, dark rings under his eyes.

"You look Fab!" I said. Let's go!

We pulled into the parking lot where they have a nice sushi bar. But we had to wait because this little blonde 25-year-old housewife was parked in the middle of the road in a Navigator the size of the Santa Maria.

I was irate.

We finally parked, but as we crossed the clearly marked intersection a small truck made a sudden move and revved up his engine like he was gonna run us over. I stopped but Mac kept walking unhindered. He actually glared.

Now I have to say that Mac was not in a good mood already. He had just taken the trash out 10 minutes before and an inkjet needle had pierced the bag as he squashed it down.

"GahFugh!!" he cried out.

"What?" I asked. I looked at his hand and black or blue ink was pouring out all over along with a lot of rich red blood.

"If you had yellow you could print stuff right here in the parking lot," I offered with my usual empathy.

"You are buying," he snarled back.

So when the guy revved his engine Mac looked back into the cabin of his truck like "what the fuck are you thinking?"

And he held eye contact until he realized (we talked about it later) he realized the guy was just high on testosterone.

I mean what else would make a man, probably 5' 8", out of shape and pudgy think he could do anything to a guy who could start on the offensive line of a semi-pro team (except that he'd have to run...not so good)?

Personally, I have seen this before. I think people pick up on his non-violent nature and do not see how stupid it might be to attack a guy 6'6" and 280 lbs. (gotta get that Ass into the gym).

Anyway, Mac just glared and held eye-contact.

I didn't.

Once the truck was stopped and he was saying something after Mac, I walked up to his door and crouched down and looked the fucker in the eyes not four inches from his face.

"My friend is a reasonable man and I suggest you not mess with him today," I said sweetly.

"Oh really?" he said. "Well fuck you and your friend!" he said then looked over at his young comrade.

"Look you have had just a bit too much testosterone in your diet," I said. "Not getting any at home? I suggest more masterbation."

"He popped the door, which was a real mistake because the inbetween of a door and a truck is like a rock and a hard place.

So, yeah, I squished him, "Gaagul..." he gasped.

Then Mac came after me.

"Forget it Maug...he's just...oh hell..I dunno," he sighed.

The man groaned and I gave him a quick slap on the left cheek...not too hard.

"Don't be stupid. It's a beautiful day and you have made it ugly," I said. "And do NOT threaten people with your truck again idiot."

We left it at that and as we walked toward the sushi bar Mac shook his head and said "men are idiots. But why did you have to slap him?"

"I dunno. Just seemed the thing to do. You gonna get the Icura Madness?"

"Naw. Not today."